The entrance exam

They handed me the ticket to my bright future. All sealed.

I was always told that this is the secret to success. Work hard.

I did.

But the only key to this secret chamber I had, was an allotted admit card number. Two lakh, thirty thousand, six hundred and one. And three hours to crack it.

You may start. Now.

Q1: A triangular wave pulse on a string with a tension F is moving in the positive x direction with a velocity.....

It will take some time. But it will come. I know.

Q2: A source of sonic oscillations S and an observer O start moving along positive x and positive y axis ….

Don’t let it interfere. No distractions. A minute more and it should strike. I know.

Q3: When heat is added to the gas, the temperature increases and the gas expands…..

Just have to remain cool. Calm. Concentrate.

Q4: If the gas is in a rigid container, then the volume remains constant and the pressure increases…..

Breathe in. Breathe out. It will equalize. It should.

Q5: A small block of mass m is placed inside a hollow cone rotating about a vertical axis with angular velocity…..

Hollow? But I remember. I remember cramming it. I must know.

Q6: The arrangement is in a horizontal plane. The particle with mass m is restricted to move in an elliptical orbit with given dimensions…..

No. NO. I know it. It is just a matter of time. It will come out. It has to.

Q7: An unknown resistance is to be determined using known resistances if their corresponding null points are.…..

Hell. Why is there so much friction? It used to flow freely before. God please help.

Q8: The system shown comes to rest. Assume that a can roll slipping along the incline…..

Am I loosing it? I can’t. Didn’t anyone know it’s not mine? It is theirs. Their one and only dream. What answer will I give them?

Q9: A wire when stretched by a weight of a solid gives a frequency f. .The fundamental tone oscillations are excited with angular frequency…..

What?

Q10: A uniform rope of mass m and length l is whirled in a horizontal circle about one of its ends…..

The only answer.

Q11: A wave of frequency n propagates through the rope; find the phase difference between the top and the bottom of the rope.

As the rope of length l and mass m hangs from the ceiling.

Sleeping Beauty

It happens twice in your life.

Ashen .I called her ‘Ashy’. She was as white as the sheet that enveloped her. Maybe fairer. Just like me.

She didn’t see me yet. Her tiny little eyes tightly shut. My own sleeping beauty.

I am not an artist and such is the lack of imagination that I don’t remember even having a dream. But this canvas I held in my hands enthused all the shades I had bottled up within me. All stocked up, they now reasoned their existence.

Oxford defines, ‘Feelings are abstract nouns and can’t be perceived by the five senses’. Then how could I see so much love, hear this peace and touch such joy? With this nascent heaven on earth I could sense it all. Every single bit of it. They say you could see it in my eyes. Hear every single click coupled with the flash in my soul. I guess they could, because I was filming the entire roll myself.

Lights.
Camera.
Action.

I saw her crawl out of my hands. Those tiny little things trying to carry the weight of that explosive curiosity. Her freshness wriggled out of my aging folds. Did you see her take that first step? I barely could, as she raced past me. I had to run. But I was slower. She had much more life. I couldn’t catch up.

I get really tired with all this running around, but I have to stay awake so that she doesn’t sleep. I know I must have fallen asleep somewhere. I missed all the exams. But I made it to the stage just in time to see her pose for the picture. You should see that photograph; I think the degree caught my pride reflecting in its cover.

We came home really exhausted. It is difficult to arrange for such a big celebration when your legs wobble. But tomorrow I don’t think they will shake on the aisle. I tell you, it is as white as the towel she came in. Maybe the veil should have been thinner.

I told you they wouldn’t tremble. But its a tremor every time her kids come home. I tell them about their mother, how quiet she was. They don’t listen. No one does, anymore.

She is pale again. That white envelope again.

Something is trembling. Maybe my eyes. They are trying to hold on to something. Something that is a part of me.

It falls on her closed eyes.

Cut.

My own sleeping beauty. Her tiny little eyes tightly shut. She never saw me.

It happens twice in your life. Whole life flashes in front of you. Once when your own life starts slipping away.

And second when your child never breathes.

?????????????????????

Through Life how I went,
Hours,the minutes, the seconds spent.

Saw through worry,
felt every bit,
All through glory,
through all the shit.

For all, same old fashion,
For me,life took a turn,
was it heat of passion,
or a scarring burn.

Were they frames of past,
the blue sky and the roses red,
or a dark shadow to cast,
on future yet to be led.

Thinking,sinking all through the night,
what to do, where to go,
Heart straining to see the light,
but then alas I still dont know.............

The............................

I have always wondered how my death is going to be like.

Will it be as painful as birth? Will it again be a tunnel with light at the end of it? Will people again look at me teary eyed with a slant of the head and wonder what life is? Will it be the ‘something’ I have searched for all my life?

Or will it be a flight this time with a plunge into nothingness? A jump defying laws of Newton where the very lack of action will invite a slapping reaction? Or will it be the ‘nothing’ I have feared forever and ever?

What I dread most when I ask myself these questions is not the answers themselves but the paradox that I won’t be around to get them. The funny part here is that in spite of having guessed the outcome of this futile activity I invest a considerable fraction of my living hours into it. Funnier maybe is this, this utter waste of the few remaining hours in typing it out. So now, instead of encouraging further tangential and useless thoughts let me close this paragraph with the new found insight into yours truly, ”I am a funny person”.

And now, moving on (English is a funny language); I have actually solved this dilemma to a certain extent by having sketched out my idea of a perfect death. With me I have a clearly chalked out systematic plan for the same. The idea of this write up is to share my masterpiece with you but it is only fair that I warn you about various copyright issues that might come your way, posthumously. So my request would be to treat this as a suicide letter and do the needful. For yourself that is.

I always believed that a beautiful picture is nothing but colorful strokes of brush with a creative brain and a peaceful mind, made by the owner of this brain and mind. A death letter, if this can be called one, may be perceived as an artist’s manifestation of the breakdown in the aforementioned creativity and peace.

But all said and done, I know you are bored of reading this and believe me I am dead tired writing it, so it’s high time to throw some light into this otherwise dark piece, the time to end it, to put things into a little perspective.

I am the artist and this is my last leaf.

A fat man's fantasy

"I wish I were ,
but obviously a thin man!"

So it starts,
the end of ecstacy,
And begins,
a Fat man's fantasy..

Got up at six,
"Hey ! What is this ?"
"Why are there 2 bedsheets ? "
"Oh no ! This is my xxxxL sleeves.."

It had to be a dream,
for I had lost all of it !!
But, the weighing machine
proved me " Thin and Lean "

So the day began,
It was blowing hard,
The wind..
Oh God, too hard..

"But I thank God
for now I am whole!"
No sooner I said this,
I fell into a hole..A manhole..

Water here, water there,
Water everywhere..

I started running,
no..swimming,
no..floating,
no wait, "What is this? "
" I am drifting !"
"Where is Newton? "
I mean " Where is gravity ? "

Then I realised,
God DOES Exist,
for my wildest of dreams was coming true!!
In all form and hue..
I was becoming thinner,
And thinner,
And still thinner..

It continued..
One moment I became a stick,
the next a toothpick.

After God's hit,
came Physics..
First left statics,
And in came dynamics..

Then entered Broglie factor,
With his dual nature,
His goddamned notion....
for then, left particle matter,
and I became a wave motion..

And I realised
what had happened,
I had become a solution,
to the Schrodinger equation..

Then struck
the hated thermodynamics,
Entropy increased,
And increased..

And then came,
The BIG BANG!!

Got up at six,
" Hey! What is this ? "

So I say..
" When there is a will,there is a way!!
Only when there is food is it a day !!"

So it ends,
The fantasy,
And begins A fat man's ecstacy!!!!..;-)

WISHES

I wish I knew…
What I had wished to know..
Or..
Whether I knew what I had to wish for..

I got as confused
As you just did..

So I stopped wishing..
For the knowledge of wish making ;-)

Why “ACTING”??

Hopelessness was clearly scribbled all over my little brain. So I decided to seek the vastness of nature to redefine my existence.

I looked up at the sky and it seemed to reflect exactly what I was feeling (the exact state of mind I was in). BLUE in bold times new roman. And the absence of the clouds, which are said to have that imaginary silver lining, seemed to underline it. Having been reminded of the miserable state I was in, I decided not to look anymore.

I decided to listen to the chirping of the birds instead. They seemed to be telepathic, reading out my thoughts. CONFUSION in capital. Either they were in the habit of cutting each other in mid sentence or were just performing a play and had conveniently forgotten their cues. Whatever it is, they forced me to reconsider my decision to listen.

Then I decided to stop making decisions and take action. So I started acting..;-)

Circle

Higher and higher it rose

Through the clouds and more

It met god in the end

And thought it was over

But god laughed and said

This is the beginning

You just met your creator

Journey starts here to meet the end………………

Then there was the push

Lower and lower it fell

“Push push and harder you push”

To welcome the lively hush!!

With tears in its eyes

Amongst reddened thighs

Embracing “no truth and all lies”

Out comes the child and cries…………………….

Bookless in Bangalore

Look look look
Under the stone there's a book
What is inside I want to know
Why don't you see and bring it to show

Now I have seen
But I will be mean
What will you pay
If I say?

Money is just paper used by the greedy
Yet if you have none of it you are needy
All I can give are blessings so pure
Most of your worries and trouble that will cure

What can I say
to a statement that may
(I hope) take you to hell
Well "Unless you pay,I wont tell"

All I can give you are some cookies
that is more important than a few rupees
You will accept this offer I am certain
Else my life will go down in a curtain

Oh my dear mate
How long will you wait
Hope you live forever
And know the answer never

Mates are people who do not say never
Neither do they ask for money gold or silver
Mate of mine you are not a crook
Do not tell just bring me the book

There are no crooked ways
Just a full circle and 360 rays
Though you refused to pay
I will tell it anyway

All the book has has to say
is that, it will finally pay
If you learn now that
"Curiosity killed the cat"...:-)

Microwaves

According to a recent survey conducted the deadliest of all diseases is yet to be discovered.Just moments after the paper was published we got our microwave assignment!!!

This has been the worst fear of mankind..The ugliest of all sicknesses...The biggest pain of life...It doesn't just cause the person infected terrible pain but is a huge headache for google which houses no information on this prehistoric barbaric subject!!!!

Unfortunately there is neither any cure for it nor any vaccine..The only hope for the survival of our race lies on the eradication of this strain of nonsense....

Will post again if I get out of this review alive..............

Why??

Why why why???
However hard I try...
I never know why??
I ask the question 'why'??